Ave Maria Meditations
I fear you are allowing the devil to score off you by getting so much upset over these bothersome, but harmless, temptations. You must let our Lord sanctify you in His own way. Were we to pick our own trials and modes of sanctification, we would soon make a mess of things.
The net result of your temptations is a deeper humility, a sense of your own weakness and wretchedness, and is not this all gain? “My brethren, count it all joy when you shall fall into diverse temptations,” (James 1:2).
All I ask you to do is to try to crush down the first movements of temptation which perhaps can best be done by praying that others may be more favored or esteemed more than you. There is a danger you may not suspect in thinking and grieving too much over temptations and faults. First of all there is often a secret pride hidden in our grief and anger with ourselves for not being as perfect as we thought or as others thought.
Then this worrying over what cannot be avoided distracts the soul from God. After all, what God wants from you, my child, is love and nothing should distract you from the grand work of love giving. Hence when you fail, treat our blessed Lord like a loving little child and tell Him you are sorry, kiss His feet as a token of your regret and then forget all about your naughtiness.
The servant of God, Fr. Willie Doyle
