Ave Maria Meditations
The fact is that we would like, in greater or lesser degree, to please ourselves; or rather, to please ourselves in a merely natural order rather than in a supernatural order. So we often would like one thing or another for our own comfort, through self-love; and if what God sends us is not to our taste, we are disturbed and even rebellious.
In the spiritual order, too, we would like to satisfy our personal taste. I do not want to reach sanctity, but by this path, in imitation of my favorite Saint; but no, our Lord knows better than we along what path and in what manner we must reach heaven. On the other hand, we would like to have clear insight into all that happens to us and its contribution to our sanctification.
And so when we understand that such a thing will sanctify us, we are content; but if we do not understand, we are disquieted. How can this suffering possibly sanctify me? The cross is indeed the way to perfection, but there are crosses and crosses, and in this one I see no prospect of coming closer to God. How shall I become holy if our Lord places me in these conditions which seem opposed to my sanctification?
What blindness of heart! Do you not understand the ways of God? He loves you more than you love yourself. He loves you more than anyone else loves you. He is unceasingly solicitous for your good. If He sends you this cross, it is exactly what you need for your sanctification. If we but understand these truths, what would make us lose peace?
How calm our lives would be! Come this event or another, it makes no difference; in the depths of the soul, I mean, for not being of stone I shall not fail to feel. Some events bring joy and others, suffering; yes, I shall suffer and weep and I may even complain, but deep in my heart I shall experience peace.
Lord, this instrument you are now using to sanctify me must be very precious since Your love sends it; yes, I recognize it but it pains me; allow me, then, to weep and to complain. And Jesus allows us to weep and to complain; but what He does not want is that we become disturbed; while we groan and weep He would have us preserve peace in our hearts.
I insist that what I keep saying is not something artificial, it is unadulterated truth, although profound truth. Things seen superficially can disturb us, but if we regard them with the profundity of faith, nothing can make us lose peace.
Servant of God, Luis Maria Martinez
